|
Post by pengus on Dec 4, 2006 3:25:00 GMT -5
i'm stressed out about my moving situation with my parents. i havent really slept for the past 2 almost 3 days... i cant think quite straight but i just wanna say, what should i do? i dont want to move down to NC. its not because i dont want to be with my parents. its just that i see it difficult to live down there. its easy for my parents because they plan on retiring and thats about it. but i dont want to start all over. i have nothing down there at all. yea i do plan on going to college but i find it difficult to make a living down there. its just not for me, maybe if i was born their then yea it'll be fine with me, but my parents have a reason to go, i dont.
what i'm finding very stressful right now is.. how am i ganna tell my parents that i dont want to move? and how will they both react?
the reason why i havent slept for the past 2 to 3 days is because i just dont know how to tell them that i aint going. and i dont wanna say bye to everybody, i'm really ganna miss the youth alot and all my friends as well. especially my two older brothers that are still here.
anyways.. i've missed out alot lately with the youth. and i'm usually not sitting still during the time when xf is preaching. i'm REALLY sorry about that but i just been having a hard time lately. i dont mean to miss out, i really do wanna do stuff with the youth but i just dont know whats wrong with me sometimes.
maybe i'll talk with xf this week. i just wanted to write this out on the forum cause maybe someone could help me out on how to tell my parents that i'm not moving and hopefully no arguements with them. i get a feeling my mom is ganna be real mad with me. i already asked lee and sao, they understand how i feel, but the decision is really up to me, and they also say i should talk with xf sometime this week. and sorry about not coming to practice sunday afternoon,i'm in the choir and i knew what time it was to go, i just wasnt feelin to great.. so i'm sorry bout that..
|
|
|
Post by Samantha on Dec 4, 2006 16:44:59 GMT -5
Hmmm I don't know what to tell you Peng. It's probably the one thing that you know you have to do and the most obvious. You should have a heart to heart talk with your parents and let them know how you feel. It's okay if they disagree or get mad at you. It's better than actually going and feeling like you don't belong and feel uncomfortable the whole time you're there. The key is that when you talk to them, don't - under any circumstances, lose control, get angry, shout, or anything of that nature. If you remain calm, it let's them know that you are serious. Actually, I don't really know you that well, and I don't know if you even yell but it could work either way. If you're a quiet person and get worked up about it, they would take you serious if you're yelling. I don't think that's even good advice. Sorry I'm of no help! Tell us how it goes though. And when is the finalized date that you guys would be moving if you go?
|
|
|
Post by Samantha on Dec 4, 2006 16:52:15 GMT -5
Also, don't worry about the youth right now. You have to take care of yourself first. Don't be so stressed out! Talk to Xf. and see what happens. I know he will be able to help you and will be more more more than willing to help. It'll be OK!
|
|
|
Post by pengus on Dec 4, 2006 17:28:10 GMT -5
hey, thanks for answering back. i do need to talk with xf, its just been bugging me all weekend cause i dont know how to tell them, cuase the past friday i was telling my mom how i felt but she didnt even care, same thing with my dad too. but for the final date that we should be moving? i dont really know, my mom has been telling me that we are ganna go down soon, probably a week before christmas or something like that, so i really gotta talk to them by this sunday. but yea, i do need to talk to xf about it, anyways, thanks for replying. and i'll let you know how it goes. bye.
|
|
|
Post by maichoua on Dec 4, 2006 19:48:53 GMT -5
hey peng. dont stress too much. it wont be good for your health. i know its hard for you. and i know i cant do anything. but just wanted to let you know. that everyone here supports you. and youre not alone. so if you do happen to be down there. we will always think about you. so dont think that you will be starting everything anew. yeah. i know youre older than me and way more experienced. but im just speaking of what i know. and when youre down there. we will still keep in touch. your an adult now. and you can always come to visit. maybe youll get to visit cause your brothers are here. but yeah. im not saying that you should go down there. i know im just making you stress more huh? well im sorry. im not too good with explaining things. hm...well..i think you should leave it to God. remember a while back i almost had to move too? i was pretty depressed too. but dont worry. just leave it to him. since youre baptised now it means that you let him guide you. and im pretty sure he's guiding you right now. this very minute. but anyways. i told God that ill let him guide me. and that ill let him choose what happens to me. so whatever happens. you should be happy. and look on the bright side. if none of the bad things that happened to you, didnt happen. where do you think youll be? id probably be somewhere..i dont know. just lost dont you think? i wouldnt know whats life. but yeah. sorry if my thinking is making everything worse for you. if it is. just take the others advice. and talk to Xf. im sure hes alot better than me. hahaha. well gotta go buddy! bye bye.
|
|
|
Post by pengus on Dec 4, 2006 22:07:20 GMT -5
hey maichoua, thanks for replying too. i had a talk with xf today so i kinda know what i'll be saying to my parents. i just have to let them know how i feel and talk to them about whats good for me if i stay and why its difficult if i move down. sigh.. hopefully everything goes ok and hopefully my parents listen and understand me. but at the moment, my parents plan to go down even though the house isnt sold yet because my uncle down there is moving because of a new job and my parents wanna take over their house and stay for the time being. and my parents said if i really wanna stay, i could stay with lee until the house is sold and then i'll go down. so right now, i plan on telling them that i'll stay for the time being and then i'll talk with my dad after that about staying in Ri with my brothers and going to school here. hopefully my mom doesnt get angry about it. and i hope i stay calm. cause if i get angry then its pretty much all over with staying in Ri. ... sigh.. its so hard right now. thinking about all this. hopefully things go well for me just this once in life. anyways thanks you guys (girls) for replying to this. bye
|
|
Izumo
Bronze
oldes' geezer of 'em all...
Posts: 25
|
Post by Izumo on Dec 6, 2006 0:17:11 GMT -5
you stressin out too much bro.. I understand where you're coming from but I don't think it's that bad.. You still have a brother down there too. Plus, sooner or later, they'll probably join you, so why make it so hard on yourself. I can think of plenty of reasons why your parents wouldn't let you stay and sorry to say but that would eventually be the result. Don't mean to be negative or anything but it's always good to have a point of view that's against everyone else. I think that if you were independent and old enough, your parents may have let you stay. Although because you're the last son, they care and worry for you more because to them, you're still their baby(no offense). I know your mom would be devasted if you chose to defy her because all your brothers somewhat left her or your parents. I know they have their reasons but I don't think you'll make it easier on your parents either by adding to that.
Point is, true, it'll probably suck going down there but how would you really know if you only spent a weekend or week there. It'll take awhile to get use to it. This could be God's way of directing you to where He wants you to be. You've grown up here and lived here long enough and so far, nothings changed. Your friends will always be your friends. But you'll never grow if you stay here. Don't be afraid to broaden your horizon by going out there and experience a new world and meet new people. I dont know, it might not be you but to me, sometimes, I feel like I'm bounded here and I feel like nothing ever changes and that there's so much out there to see and experience but I find myself bounded because i couldn't step out there and its disappointing. You just have to step out.. No one who leaves RI and comes back the same but those who stays here never changes, I can tell you that much. If you don't like it there, you can always move back when your 21. By then, you wouldn't have to depend on anyone. Then again, you'll probably like it there by then. As of right now, you'll probably have to depend on Lee and Sao which may be cool because their your brothers but that's only for a certain extent. After all, as much as they'll like to help you, they'll have to support their own family.. But I could be wrong. Anyhow, not that I'm against your decisions. Sometimes, we just have to weigh both point of views and see what's more beneficial for both parties. Just another 2cent for you to rethink clearly about your decision. Good luck and just pray for an answer. Whatever the turn out, I think it's for the best. It's just what you make of it. Cya..
|
|
|
Post by pengus on Dec 6, 2006 1:04:17 GMT -5
hey, yea i've thought alot about it today. i've decided to just go down. i know the answer my parents will give me is no, and i dont wanna argue with my parents cause i know its ganna happen. but as of right now, i'm just ganna ask them to let me stay till christmas because i remember my dad giving me a choice to stay for a bit until the house is actually sold. and its alot better than telling them that i dont wanna move down with them at all. so yea, i really dont mind living down there anymore.maybe theres a reason to go. but all i really want is to just stay till christmas and i really do hope they let me stay just one more month with everybody.
so yea, it wont be so bad i guess. its not like i'll never see everyone again.
but what i do like to say is, i've been down there for 2 weeks, and thats plenty of time for me to know how it is down there. especially the area i'll be living at and how far away "life" is from my dads land. its quite sad and lonely, but whatever i guess. hopefully i will have patience and make hunting a part of my hobby so i wont be so bored.
so right now, ive already accepted to move. but i just want to stay for one last christmas with everyone. i hope my dad understands. i mean, its better than saying "hey dad, i'm not going with ya..." right?..
well anyways.. its late. gonna get some rest. see you guys friday at the coffee house.well, peace and Godbless. and thanks for replying to this.
|
|
|
Post by Chad on Sept 2, 2010 19:55:06 GMT -5
Hey man, I live in NC and can assure you it's not that bad! Actually I am currently in seminary to prepare for pastoral ministry and I sense that God may be leading me to Rhode Island. I came across your youth webpage while doing research on RI and the churches that are there. I am excited to read about what all God is doing in your church! Yall keep up the good work! I am praying for you! If you ever have any questions, or I can be of any assistance, just let me know! I have worked with a Hmong missionary in one area in NC, and know of several other good Hmong churches in the area that would be great to get plugged into.
|
|